| Monday, February 4, 2008 |
| The End |
Like most people, I've never been very good at keeping New Years Resolutions. But I usually make it longer than a month. Unfortunately, that's not going to be the case this year.
I'm officially halting the Make Doug Fat project.
I have spent the last few days trying to figure out what to do. There are a myriad of reasons why I am stopping, not the least of which is the possibility (small, yes, but still existent) that this could negatively affect a job I very much enjoy.
The biggest reason though, is that I like Doug. Sure, sometimes he asks me so many questions I want to pull my hair out. But he's a nice guy. And I think he likes his job too. Make Doug Fat has grown larger than I ever expected (pun totally intended) in a very short period of time. And more people in our company know about it than I can count. I know that if I found out someone was trying to make me fat while writing about it and most of my coworkers knew about it, I might not like my job any more.
The point is, this was never meant to be a project that legitimately mocked Doug. It was in good fun. I'd like to stop while it's still fun and before anyone gets their feelings seriously hurt.
So, thanks for stopping by, have a great 2008, and keep on eating. |
| posted by Crisco McFatty @ 11:18 PM |
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| Friday, February 1, 2008 |
| Sweet Tarts |
Today, I put some Sweet Tarts in Doug's top desk drawer. I decided leaving sweet things on his desk two days in a row might be a little much. But, if he opens his desk drawer to find candy, he might just think he put it there.
If you think that's unreasonable, you don't know Doug. He always has some sort of snack in his desk drawer. Anytime he finds candy and doesn't want to eat it right away (which is rare, but does happen) he puts it in the drawer for later.
So, now he's got some extra snacks. And Sweet Tarts can be somewhat addictive. So, my guess is if he opens up one package, the other 5 or 6 will be eaten in immediate succession.
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Also, on a side note, I'm really fighting some guilt on this project. So, I'd like for it to be on the record that Doug really is a good guy. And I'm not doing this with any seriously malicious intent. I don't want him to have a heart attack, get diabetes, or anything of that magnitude. I also don't want him to think he is being mocked or ostracized. He's a growing boy. And growing boys need their nutrients. And I hear that sometimes nutrients come in the form of extra sticks of butter and sugar comas. It's not my fault if the public school system didn't teach me any decent nutritional information. Right? |
| posted by Crisco McFatty @ 9:56 AM |
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| Thursday, January 31, 2008 |
| Final Brownie Update / Contributions |
At the end of the day today, all of the brownies were gone except for about 2 square inches. Unfortunately, Doug shared with his fellow training participants, so he only ate about half by himself. Still, that put him at nearly double his daily calorie intake and a full week's worth of fat in one dessert.
Additionally, I actually got to see the inside of the brownies, and wow. They were so heavy that they looked like fudge. Maybe the last 9" pan should be fudge. I bet I could pack even more calories in there. Oh Doug. You make it so easy.
In other new, this may be my New Years Resolution, but it seems many more people are supportive of the project than I had expected. Some have donated candy and other food. For example, tomorrow I will be leaving a pile of Sweet Tarts on Doug's desk that were donated from a co-worker's 2005 candy stash. So, if you have anything that Doug will gobble up, bring it my way or just leave it on his desk.
If you're one of our new guests that doesn't know me personally, you can still contribute suggestions, comments, ideas, and recipes. You can email me at makedougfat@gmail.com . Crisco McFatty wants you...
To...
Keep on eating. |
| posted by Crisco McFatty @ 9:00 PM |
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| "THIS IS AWESOME" |
After all the effort I put in on Sunday night to make the super brownie cake, I forgot to bring it to work three days in a row. But, today I remembered.
Doug has been in training sessions all week, and today is no exception. So, it was easy to deposit the brownies on his desk anonymously. I did so about an hour ago.
Doug came back to his desk during a break from training. Again, he was somewhat skeptical of the mysterious treats until a coworker had a bite. Then, he took a bite and fell in love.
He literally proceeded to cradle the pan in his arms while running off excitedly exclaiming, "This is AWESOME!" He took with him the fork and paper bowl I also left for him.
So, I am guess he took them back to training with him. And they are probably about half-way eaten by now. Chalk up another 200+ grams of fat and 3550 calories.
Keep on eating. |
| posted by Crisco McFatty @ 10:51 AM |
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| Sunday, January 27, 2008 |
| I love you like a fat kid love cake. |
Some might think it ambitious or at least suspicious to present Doug with two anonymous cakes on back to back business days. I just think I'm making up for lost time earlier in the month. Also, I bought three disposable 9" cake pans, and I better use them up before they go bad or start growing mold.
So, I present to you, my newest creation:
For interested parties, it's a batch of family-size brownies with an obligatory extra stick and a half of butter, chocolate icing, and shaved white chocolate on top.
The calorie and fat content can only be described as ridiculous, which makes up for a decently low calorie count in the last cake. I wandered around the baking aisle at Target for a good twenty minutes looking for the ingredients with the most calories. I have to say that after spending a life time looking for products with the lowest calories, it was quite fun picking out the most unhealthy products I could find.
All in all, there are 7100 calories and 416 grams of fat. Just let that soak in for a minute. And hopefully, while you do, Doug will be letting it soak straight to his gut.
Keep on eating. |
| posted by Crisco McFatty @ 11:47 PM |
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| Friday, January 25, 2008 |
| Is the cake poisonous? |
The last I checked, Doug had eaten over half of the cake today. By himself.
This came after he spent the first half of the day asking everyone where the cake came from. And he still had no idea who left it. Fortunately, he got over his fear that it might be poison. And he was rewarded with buttery chocolate caramel goodness. |
| posted by Crisco McFatty @ 9:44 PM |
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| Thursday, January 24, 2008 |
| Cake! |
Like most New Year's resolutions, I have been somewhat lazy in bringing this one to fruition. The good news is that Doug's eating habits are so poor that I don't have to do much to achieve my 2008 goal. I should feel bad, but there's still such a subborn pride to his eating, that I may not go to hell quite yet.
For example, Doug has done some traveling for work lately. When Doug travels, Doug eats. He ate the super rib plate at some restaurant in St. Louis four nights in a row.
The other day, he was complaining about how he has gained nearly ten pounds recently. Then, he drove to the gas station to buy another Polar Pop.
So, in lieu of the grand success I am having in making Doug fat despite my minimal efforts, I baked a cake! This box of cake mix has sat neglected in my cupboard after I bought it from the dented-cans-clearance section of the grocery store for $1.74 a few months back.
The box says the full cake has 1710 calories and 41 grams of fat. I also threw in an extra stick of butter for an additional 810 calories and 92 grams of fat.
Tomorrow, I will deposit this on Doug's desk. And he will eat the good majority of it. I'll let you know how it goes.
Keep on eating. |
| posted by Crisco McFatty @ 11:08 PM |
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| In 2008, I have resolved to make Doug fat. Does he know who I am? I hope not. Will he still eat all of the food left for him? Probably. Will he pack on the pounds? Read and find out. |
| About Me |
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Name: Crisco McFatty
Home: United States
About Me: I'm not a good person.
See my complete profile
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